Echt?!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the echt moments that have stood out to me about Dutch people and Dutch culture. However, it wouldn’t be fair to not mention some of the things that we (and by we, I mean the American culture and my own personal acts of embarrassment) do that cause people to say really (insert appropriate punctuation!/?).

Let me just preface this by saying that there are many American laws and government practices that the Dutch find absurd and I have to say I agree with them but to avoid a blog ranting about the faults of my home country’s government- I’ll stick to less taboo topics.

·         America does not acknowledgement my relationship with Gearoid. We have been together for over 11 years and because we’re not married we miss out on a lot of benefits that married couples have. (The reasons we’re not married would take several blog entries and multiple visits to a therapist to explain. Let’s just leave it at we’re happy, in love, and committed to each other).  Here we’re recognized as a family of two, have the same insurance benefits, a joint bank account, and my stuff was shipped to the Netherlands with Gearoid’s belongings because we were (are) one household. I’m sure in some areas of the States we can make the above happen but it’s not across the board and it would be difficult. In the States I felt like I didn’t have the right way to label our relationship. Gearoid wasn’t my husband but the term boyfriend seemed too insignificant. If I called him my partner, people in the States assumed we did business together or I was going home to a lady. The Dutch find it absurd that because we’re not married, the US doesn’t recognize us as a family unit. I have to agree.

·         I’ve also gotten a “really?!” when I’ve described the lack of consistent recycling programs across the US. Here, we have four containers in our kitchen and we dutifully separate our glasses, plastics, papers, etc.  In the States, I used to bring items home from work to recycle and my heart cried a little when a tin can was chucked in the trash. I know some places in the States are more stringent about recycling than others but I also know family members who use the recycling bin (that I happened to get for them) to store old shoes.

·         The giant automobiles and the people who love them also cause a really from the Dutch people (except for this guy on my street who surprisingly has a Dodge Ram). I have a Dutch instructor who fancies himself an expert on all things American and lectures at me (in Dutch!) about fossil fuels, cheap solar panels from China, and how America can be better. And why those big automobiles?!

·         They also find it weird that we have marshmallows in our cereal. My only defense against this argument is that they eat sprinkles on bread.

·         I brake for red lights. I always believed red to be a universal color for “stop” but while I’m stopping many Dutch people keep riding on. I know I look ridiculous at a seemingly empty intersection stopped at a red light with no cars or other bikes nearby but on both occasions when I decided to be illegal a car came screeching near me. So I will continue to brake for red lights.

·         I don’t know if my mistakes with the Dutch language cause a strong response from the Dutch but I’m sure they cause giggles. For example, meervoud means “plural” but when I heard it said it sounded like meer fout which means “more wrong” (which is coincidentally incorrect grammar in English and Dutch).  For months, I would ask my teacher the plural forms of words and she would ramble something quickly off in Dutch with meervoud jammed in somewhere. My face smiled, my lips said ok, but in my head I kept asking myself, “How is that more wrong?” I asked my language coach about the meaning of meervoud a couple of weeks ago explaining what I thought it was and he is still laughing at me. At least I know what the Dutch word for plural is now.

·         My Dutch instructor (the American “expert”) recently gave me a lecture on the use of ketchup in America and how it is ridiculous that we use so much of it. It makes me wonder if other Dutch people get so worked up about American condiment choices. Meanwhile, this culture enjoys fries with a big glob of mayonnaise on top.

 

·         My last name is Dutch, possibly Belgian. It’s kind of nice that people know how to spell my last name here whereas in the States it is always spelled incorrectly. The problem is that because my last name is potentially Dutch people assume I’m Dutch. I’m greeted in waiting rooms by doctors, dentists, etc, with a Dutch greeting. I carry on the Dutch greeting until it goes too far and I ask politely if we can speak in English. The response is usually something like this: “Oh, you’re not Dutch? Your last name is Dutch.” “Yes, but I’m American.” “Really? Because your last name is Dutch.” “Um, yes, I’m sure I’m American.”

·         My last name isn’t the only thing that confuses people. People here assume I’m Dutch until I open my mouth. Despite a year of lessons, my Dutch speaking abilities (unlike my reading and writing abilities) are pretty limited. I can understand more than I can speak. There have been many times when someone is prattling off in Dutch to me on the bus or at the grocery store when my smiles, nods, and “ja’s” only get so far and I either receive a “What is wrong with you look?”  or I  have to admit dejectedly that Dutch is not my first language. I receive a pitying smile and a look that dismisses me from social conversation.

I really could go on about how I’ve embarrassed myself in this country like when I crashed my bike by simply turning my head which threw off my balance or how when describing a beer bottle in Dutch I described it as brown meat or how I kept everyone stuck on the train because I forgot (again) that you have to press a button on the door to open it. I could also go on about how American habits and laws cause such disbelief in the Dutch that I am eternally be lectured about how as Americans we are wasteful, shoot people, and have ridiculous legislature. Both lists could really go on forever.  It makes me wonder that if I’m here for another 2, 5, or 10 years if I will still have these lists of how our differing cultures make us pause and ask or exclaim really?!