Ladies' Night

Last Wednesday had a promising start. The only appointment I had was with my language buddy, I had already done Thursday’s Dutch homework, and it was a clear and beautiful day. I planned to use my free day (despite being unemployed I usually keep busy during the week) to catch up on things that I had been too busy or too lazy to do such as finishing my book club book, planting tulip bulbs, writing a blog entry, and baking cupcakes. Someone had lent us a tiny portable oven that I was going to practice with to see if I could make a decent Thanksgiving dessert. All went well except for the cupcakes. Long story short the oven short circuited not only my apartment but four other apartments as well. So on a brisk fall day with the sun setting shortly after 5PM, we were without electricity and all that requires it (i.e. internet, heat, lights, etc) for two hours. When the lights came on, being determined as I am (or stubborn as Gearoid insists) I tried the oven again and 3 minutes later, I blacked out our apartments yet again. Finally, realizing this oven and my kitchen outlets were not compatible I decided to try the cupcakes in my disappointing convection-micro-oven combination. Unfortunately, it decided to almost catch on fire and smoke filled my kitchen. I had a mini breakdown, put the uncooked cake batter in my fridge and settled on my couch to pout. Minutes later, my landlord came up to request I try not to make anymore blackout inducing cupcakes because their house was cold enough after having had no heat for two hours. While he was in my kitchen, I also had to explain about the smell of smoke and its cause. He kindly asked me to sit on my couch for the rest of the night and not cause any more trouble.

Approximately 30 minutes later, my landlady called and invited me to a Ladies’ Night because her husband said I seemed a little depressed. I jumped at the chance to leave my cursed kitchen and in their words they “saved Gearoid from me.” It was true. He would have had to endure my frustrations and tears. He was a little baffled when he pulled up on his bike and I was leaving (after taking a 20 from his wallet) with no answers to his questions on when, where, and why. In the long run, me leaving the house for the night was good for my sanity and Gearoid’s overall well-being. He was able to enjoy a guilt free night of sci-fi television, whiskey, and surreptitious finger swipes of chocolate cake batter without me sobbing that I hate this place because nothing (i.e. the oven) works here. (Me- Don’t eat the cake batter. Him- Are you sure? Later that night: Me- Did you eat any cake batter? Him- Only where my finger accidently fell in.)

I eagerly got into the car with my landlady and her daughter whom I regularly visit for English/Dutch conversations. We headed to Ladies’ Night. In the States Ladies’ Night usually implies free entrance to a night club with discount drinks. In the Netherlands, these events take place at an assortment of locations that provide ladies with some type of discount. The ladies’ night we attended took place at a giant garden center. You know- where you can buy gardening supplies. We drove into the very crowded parking lot and then walked to the end of a very long line that ended almost outside of the parking lot. I was amazed by the crowds and the excitement. It was contagious. I was really excited for this virgin experience. I asked what the night would entail and why were there so many people here. The answer was a joke about the extent Dutch people will go to get free stuff. What kind of free stuff? All kinds of free stuff and discounts as well. So, I had voluntarily gone to an event where I was freezing in a parking lot waiting for a goody bag of random stuff. Well, it was this or sulk about my unbaked cake batter.

While travelling to the end of the line, I saw a sign that said Jan Smit would be there. I had the audacity to ask in a crowd of Dutch ladies who Jan Smit was. “What?! You don’t know who Jan Smit is? What’s wrong with you? How long have you been here? You must know who Jan Smit is,” were some of the responses I received.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Smit_(singer). While I was being lectured about my lack of knowledge of Dutch pop culture and the romances of Jan Smit, we were being entertained by fire breathers, fire jugglers, and bag pipe players. Eventually we made our way to the red carpet (yes, an actual red carpet) welcoming us into the garden center. We were given very cute reusable shopping bags to collect all of our freebies in and then given a lei by a very charming drag queen. After a picture with a Jan Smit lookalike (apparently the real Jan Smit was on his honeymoon) we were gently herded along a route through the garden center.

Unfortunately, my lack of knowledge of how to use the flash on my camera phone and bad timing prohibited quality pictures of the outside entertainment and the insane crowd of women. 

It was quite magical and enchanting. I’m not being sarcastic when I say that. Honestly. The garden center had become Christmas Central. We were treated to candy and warm mulled wine while we looked at dozens of Christmas decoration displays. We took a picture in front of a chalet display with a  very handsome man in lieder hose (on the right man, it’s actually quite attractive). We had more mulled wine. A choir singing English Christmas carols entertained us while we looked at light displays, ornaments, and avoided the mad group of women fighting over some half priced winter boots. My favorite display included a giant carousel that was decorated with those tiny villages that people recreate in their houses for the holidays.  We had more mulled wine-ok, only I had more. It’s quite tasty and I quickly learned that it only take 3 tiny glasses to be effective.

During a tea/coffee break (if you’re ever in the Netherlands, you haven’t had a true Dutch experience unless a tea/coffee break is included), we were given strawberry basil ice cream. Over 3 hours later after having walked the red carpet, we were in the checkout line being entertained by a DJ while we waited to pay for our purchases and collect our goody bags. We were all exhausted and overwhelmed by the experience and drove home quietly. Upon arriving home, I thanked my landlady for inviting me and treating me to a true cultural experience. The Dutch really love free and discounted stuff and I quite enjoyed the Ladies’ Night!

My free loot!

I quite enjoyed the singular Riccola cough drop, dog food sample, and one panty liner. Just kidding we all know I guzzled the wine, devoured the cookies, and inhaled the chips. The rest of it is still sitting in the goody bag in my spare room.

*After a careful cleaning, my combo-micro-oven was able to produce adequate cupcakes with the cursed chocolate batter.