Returning from America

After almost a month in the States we had to return to the Netherlands so that Gearoid could get back to work and I could look for a job with my shiny new residence/work permit. It was bittersweet to leave- bitter for me and sweet for Gearoid.

In preparation for our departure we made a list of essential things we had to have and made numerous trips to Wal-Mart, Old Navy, Target, Kohls, and other American consumer hot spots. Yes, we could get most of what we bought in the Netherlands but shopping in the States is cheaper and more familiar. Both of us needed some new pants due to our bikes wearing strange horizontal shaped holes in our favorite pairs. In the 6 months that I have lived in the Netherlands, I have not bought any clothing for myself due to the scariness of European sizes. I already have a complex about my American size but to buy clothing in which the sizes begin in the high 30s/low 40s caused too much emotional distress. In addition to pants, I threw in some new shirts for myself and we both got some new workout gear and shoes.

I also loaded up on deodorant, razors, shampoo, dental floss and other “essential” items. I like the brands I’m used to but made a promise to myself that after these items are finished I will adapt and discover Dutch brands that I enjoy. The pile of books I brought back with us was absolutely essential, I told myself and Gearoid because of how expensive English books are in the Netherlands (Disclaimer: I have an extensive home library and the actual library in town has an English section). 

"necessary" books

assortment of "essential" toiletries

The purchase of multiple French’s yellow mustard bottles had my brother and his friend questioning if the Netherlands even had mustard. Of course there is mustard there, I told them. I just prefer French’s. Surprisingly, the only other food product we brought back with us was a couple of packages of Reeses. By the time we made it to the grocery portion of Wal-Mart for our final hurrah, I was over shopping, tired, not hungry and didn’t think twice of forgoing all of food products I miss from the States when I’m in the Netherlands. There was also the problem of our limited suitcase space and the growing pile of purchases. Luckily for me, Gearoid is an excellent and efficient packer and everything made it into the limited luggage.

Admittedly, I was sad to leave. The goodbyes were difficult without catching Gearoid trying to suppress his giddiness of returning to his European routines. At one point, I asked him to be less obvious in his excitement because I was genuinely sad. He asked why past the obvious reasons of leaving our friends and family. I couldn’t explain it more than just say it was difficult to leave the comforts and familiarity of my country. However, the truth is that despite my devotion to America, I don’t want to live there right now. The economy is a mess, jobs are non-existent, and after seeing how well the Netherlands takes care of people with benefits, health care, education, etc, it makes sense for me to take advantage of this opportunity to live in Europe. Neither country is without its faults, but having a choice, right now I sadly choose Europe.

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m choosing the lesser of two evils. I have it good and I’m fully aware of that. I just now realize how much I fully appreciate being an American.

The goodbyes were sad and I was slightly depressed. It didn’t help that flying standby on the return leg of our trip was a lot bumpier than when I came to America. We arrived at Charleston airport before 10 for our 11:40AM flight. We were supposed to fly to Atlanta and then catch a 3:10 flight to Amsterdam.  We watched flight after flight leave without us. At 1:55PM we were told there was only one seat. I urged Gearoid to take it because he had work on Monday. He urged me to take it because in his exact words, “as soon as I leave you’re going to call your mom and leave the airport.” A valid fear but I promised him I would behave like an adult and wait for a potential flight. Worried about me defecting to my own country, Gearoid reluctantly flew first class to Atlanta while I stayed in Charleston. At approximately 3:15 PM, drama ensued. My Delta buddies suggested I try to leave on Sunday instead but the gate agent told me I had a seat on the 3:30PM flight. My choices were to hang out with my mom another night eating cookies and watching Twilight movies or fly to Atlanta and maybe get at seat on the same flight as Gearoid to Amsterdam at 5:30PM. What was I to do?

I said another goodbye to my mom via text and headed to Atlanta. Despite the short time frame, being on the other side of the airport, and an extremely rude and dismissive gate agent, Gearoid and I experienced a standby miracle by making the flight and enjoying first class all the way to Amsterdam. Unfortunately our bags decided to fly on Sunday but nevertheless, we made it back.

We arrived to our house and were welcomed by the smell of a cucumber that had been left in the fridge. We spent the day battling jet lag (Gearoid successfully and me not so much). Sad, tired but not tired, and hoping my French’s made it in my missing luggage, I laid in bed and tried unsuccessfully to sleep (my body screamed it’s only 7PM!). Gearoid, still afraid I might defect slept holding my hand and anchoring my feet with his leg. I awoke the next day at an unrespectable time to a text that said my luggage had arrived. Risking my defection once again, Gearoid had me return to the airport (almost 2 hours away) to retrieve the bags and only breathed properly when I texted that I had the bags and was on my way back to Nijmegen. He spent the rest of the night smiling more than I had seen during our trip to the States at being back in Europe and me having not bought a last minute return ticket to the States while retrieving my already packed luggage.

Surprisingly, I am happy to be back in the Netherlands. The sun is out and I got to enjoy the beautiful scenery with my 4 hour train ride back and forth from the airport. I had my taste of America and although I miss my country and my people, I am happy once again to enjoy my Dutch adventure.