Adaptations

So I usually pride myself on being a person who appreciates other cultures and is willing to try and experience new things. I avoid American restaurants, follow local customs, and try to truly appreciate where I am.  I remember when I was studying in Spain almost a decade ago and fellow Americans with my school’s program decided that instead of embracing the new culture they would embrace McDonalds and cover Spanish delicacies with ketchup.  I would scoff at their need to be and feel American. Let me make clear that I am very proud to be an American and although politics and systems in the States drive me up the wall, there are many things I value and appreciate. However, why travel to other countries and appreciate different cultures if all you want are American products and luxuries?

I would get so frustrated with my schoolmates and their “Spain Sucks” mentality. But as the weeks wore on and I had appreciated the hell out of this other culture, I missed familiarity and the culture that had raised me for 20 years (like I said- almost a decade ago).  I broke my cardinal rule and on one of my last nights, I joined my fellow American students and enjoyed ice in my soda and yellow French’s mustard on a veggie burger at the Hard Rock Café in Madrid. (Writing this I’m remembering that I also suffered homesickness about half-way through after a traumatizing Running of the Bulls experience and splurged on a Dominoes pizza to get me through the remaining weeks but that’s another story).  

Fast-forward almost a decade and I am living in another European country for a prolonged amount of time. This time it’s different though. When I was in Spain, it was only the second time I’d left the country in my adult life. I’m older, have travelled more, and am living not just studying in this new country.  My last experience living in another country has taught me that it is ok to miss the comforts of familiarity- especially when you have to pull buckets of water and light your way with candles but again another story. So although I have indoor plumbing, internet, and other developed luxuries there are simply things, practices and items that I miss from the States.

1)      Mustard- I am not a connoisseur of fancy mustards. For all of my foodie tendencies, I truly prefer the bright yellow vinegary tang of French’s yellow mustard. No Dijon or honey mustard for me. As cheese sandwiches have become a staple of our everyday diet we bought the brightest yellow mustard we could find at the grocery store. I eagerly spread it on my Gouda and bit into a horseradish-y sandwich. The mustard here simply doesn’t please my palate. Luckily, Gearoid made a trip to Montreal for a conference and brought me back a bottle of French’s Classic American mustard (although being from Montreal it came back as Canada’s favorite mustard).  Having French’s in my life again has brought back the joy evoked by cheese sandwiches.

2)      Free Tennis Courts- I learned to play tennis a couple of years ago and have really started to enjoy the game. I’m not too good so the best way to get better is to practice. In the States, Gearoid and I could only play when we were in town at the same time but we would always find a free (unoccupied) free (no cost to play) court. Despite all of the taxes paid here, courts aren’t free. Anyone can play for a certain price. We recently decided that we would eat the cost and join a court close to our house. We actually thought we were getting a good deal- a flat rate for all summer of unlimited play. Wrong- the flat rate only allowed us to play one hour a week during a time that we reserved ahead of time. This leads me to my next point…

3)      Living life with more spontaneity- I didn’t realize until now how freely we all come and go in the States without having to report to anyone but our loved ones. If we move we change our address with the postal system so our mail will move with us. However, if we wanted to, we could live in one place and have our mail sent somewhere else. You can play tennis on free free courts when you want. If you don’t show up to an adult education course, although polite, it’s not required that you call in to explain why you won’t be in class. I’m sure when I was in college, my teachers would not want to know that I wasn’t going to be in class that day because the beach was beckoning (not that I ever skipped class to go to the beach- my lack of a tan back then can attest to that).  I feel like here that life has become regulated and routine. I have to call ahead to play tennis. I have a handful of days to tell the city- not the postal system- where I’ve moved to. When you sign up for a gym, there are different payment plans for what time of day you think you may want to go. What happened to spontaneity?  In the grand scheme of things, these aren’t horrible restrictions and make logical rational sense. However, I have never claimed to be a rational and logical individual.

4)      Knowing what’s going on- The language barrier is starting to get to me. I am progressing with my Dutch lessons and will hopefully soon be getting a volunteer language match. However, so many times we are told something in English and have been told wrongly. A few words can change the whole meaning of a message you are trying to convey (or receive). The tennis price is one example (can you tell yet that this tennis misunderstanding really bothers me?).  All along when I’ve tried to do important things that affect my life- get a bank account, get insurance, etc- I’ve been told  I have to wait until I get the Dutch equivalent  of a social security number- my BSN. I finally got a BSN and have attempted to get a bank account and insurance. However, in my attempts I have been told that I also need my registration card (my immigration form that I have been waiting for) to prove I will be in the country for a significant amount of time. I just wish that I could have received all the information at the same time (or at least the right information) instead of cycling in the rain to get piecemeal bits. In the States, as a legal American I take for granted that when I want something, I can get it. A bank account- no problem.  Insurance- not a problem with the right job.  Tennis court- after the overly tanned old men are done but not a problem.  I know the systems, I know what I need to do, and I know what others are supposed to do.  I don’t even know what the weather is because I can’t understand the local news. My spontaneity is coming from whether I need a coat or not when I go outside. I’m not dumb, I know I can look online but I miss watching the morning news and getting all my info for the day in one English dose.

5)      Blue Recycling Bins- I wish I could understand the trash and recycling system here. I miss the big blue bin where I chucked all of the possible recyclable items. Here we have trash, a bag for brown glass, a brown for white glass, a bag for plastics (but certain plastics are not allowed or recyclable), a bag for cardboards and we’re not sure when and where any of them go. We’ve tried asking but we keeping getting wrong information.  You can’t just get frustrated and chuck it all in the trash because they will know and track you down because they know all of your information. We recently found out by chance that you have to pay for a certain type of expensive trash bag or they won’t take trash. That explains why our brown trash bags have been left on the side of the road while the green ones are picked up. Did I tell you that you need a BSN to throw out trash here? I can at least do that. (just kidding)

6)      Appliances- I appreciate that space is limited in Europe and things are smaller and more compact. I also appreciate that Europe is more environmentally conservative than in the States and things are designed to be less wasteful.  However, I just miss my big old washer and drier. I miss large loads of laundry that when you put clothes in the dryer they come out dry. I know huge amounts of energy are used in the washing and drying of my clothes but I miss the convenience. We have a washer/drier combo here which sounds ingenious. I know I’m lucky that I even have a washer but it’s hard to remember that when I’m pulling hot damp steamy clothes out of the “dryer.” It’s like my clothes just spent 45 minutes in South Florida in July with no AC. As mentioned earlier in my blog, I miss my oven. Gearoid also brought me back some baking ingredients that I attempted to use in the tiny ovenette.  Frustrated with baking 4 cookies at a time, I spread the batter in a pie tin and made a pretty decent round cookie bar. Still not the same but I’m trying to adapt.

I apologize for ranting and complaining. I truly do appreciate this experience and there are things, practices, and items that I actually prefer in the Netherlands than in the States. That, however, is another blog. I miss things and that’s natural because I am used to and familiar to certain products, practices, language(!), and systems.  When I get items I miss in care packages from North America or find them in random Chinese stores here (true story), I appreciate them even more. The other day, my Coca-Cola light (same as Diet Coke but different name) came with 2 ice cubes in the glass and it gave me a little bit of happiness (also a true story).  Being here is reminding me of my appreciation for my country as well as teaching me to appreciate the culture of another. I still prefer a random café to McDonalds but it doesn’t hurt me or anyone else if I visit the golden arches when homesick.